


Take Me Home

by feistypants



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Farmhand!Adora, POV Catra (She-Ra), based off art!, catra is motivated by spite, former soccer star adora, friends to lovers to exes to... employee?, homesteader!catra, then maybe more!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26904532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feistypants/pseuds/feistypants
Summary: Catra didn't realize how much she was actually taking on by buying this homestead out from under Weaver, but it didn't take too long for her to figure out that she needed some help. Luckily, someone 'buff, blonde, and absolutely oblivious' has just moved back to town. Is it too much for Catra to take? Or can she handle watching her ex-girlfriend work up a sweat every single day?
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 243
Kudos: 520





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by [this lovely art](https://twitter.com/bananabluff/status/1310583578535763970?s=20) by the ever so talented [bananabluff](https://twitter.com/bananabluff/) who was kind enough to give me permission to write a fic about it!
> 
> ... it got way out of hand and that scene isn't even in the first four chapters but.... it's there!! eventually!! I promise!!! c:

Catra kept a forced smile on her face just long enough for the scrawny kid from down the road to leave her home before pressing a frustrated nail against her forehead and sighing “come on, Kyle.”

_ She _ could lift more than he could. Why on  _ earth _ would he apply to be her farmhand? She knew he didn’t much like working at his parent’s apiary, but Catra needed someone built for this job, someone who could do some heavy lifting for hours on end. Someone like --

Nope. She wasn’t going there. It had been years. No sense in opening  _ that _ box.

A heavy sigh fell on her shoulders as she crumpled up Kyle’s application before turning on her heel to see if anyone else had emailed her. She knew it was unlikely but  _ damn it _ , she bit off more than she could chew when she took over this homestead. There had been something appealing about going off the grid, and she  _ had _ always loved living here as a kid, so when her shit foster mother passed away, it felt  _ right _ to buy this place out from under her.

Maybe she should have considered more than her spite, though.

Catra felt her ear twitch at the soft sound of dirt drive crunching under tires and frowned. She wasn’t expecting anyone else, and the drive was long enough that no one who didn’t know what was up here would venture off the main road like this. With a huff, she stepped back out over the threshold onto her porch and crossed her arms, ready to greet - or  _ maybe _ threaten - whoever was encroaching on her property. 

The gray pickup truck was old as hell, but Catra could tell whoever the owner was took great care of it by how gently the engine purred and how the paint shone under the sunlight. She took another tentative step forward, toes curling over the edge of her porch. The truck came to a stop right beside her little prius, and Catra found herself stretching to try and make out  _ anything _ about the stranger.

The engine was cut, a door popped open, and then a … very familiar head of blonde hair hopped down from the lifted cab. Catra saw a flash of her white and gray flannel, dark jeans stretched over thick thighs, and felt her breath catch in her throat as the heavy timbs stopped walking towards her. She snapped her gaze back up to the face in front of her.

Their eyes met as the other woman leaned on the hood of her truck and smirked. “Hey, Catra.”

… Well, she supposed that box was open now.

“What…” Catra swallowed and felt her entire body tense. “What the hell are  _ you _ doing here?”

Adora blinked at her a couple times before jumping up. “Oh!” She reached into her back pocket and clumsily unfolded a piece of paper. “Saw your ad up at Razz’s. You need help?” She smiled again and jabbed a thumb into her chest, mumbling an almost inaudible  _ ow _ before straightening back up. “As it turns out,  _ I _ need a job!”

When Catra’s only answer was a narrowing of her eyes, Adora chuckled a little nervously, just as she always did, and dropped her hands to her hips. “You know I always loved working here in the summers. Though, honestly,” she shrugged, frowning, “I’m surprised you took over? I thought you would have left the second Weaver --”

“What are you even doing in town, Adora?” Catra could feel irritation boiling up in the back of her throat. As far as she knew, Adora would never have come back here on her own volition. “Thought you were a  _ big city gal _ now?” Fuck, she could  _ taste _ the venom on her tongue.

“Oh, ah…” Adora shrugged and dug her toes into the dirt, locking her gaze on the clouds of dust kicking up. “Finished my degree, played a couple years semi-pro and…” She let out a sigh. “Just… wasn’t for me, in the end.” A soft smile played at her lips as she turned her head out to the fields. “And I missed it out here.”

The sun hit her face in this stupidly perfect way that Catra loathed at this exact moment. 

“Why would I hire you?” Catra leaned against the post next to the steps in an attempt to feel more nonchalant. “Maybe I’ve already hired someone.”

Adora’s head snapped up to face her. “... Have you?” A pause, and a smug little smirk. “And because you already know how hard I work here.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I know how hard you  _ goof off _ here.” A soft flush rose to her cheeks in remembrance before she chanced another glance at Adora, whose face at softened in the same fucking way it used to when they were hidden away in the dark --  _ fuck _ . “Don’t look at me like that.”

“What?” Adora clapped a hand against her own shoulder as if brushing off dirt that clearly wasn’t there and shot her gaze back to the fields. “I wasn’t looking at you like anything.”

Catra rolled her eyes again and groaned. “Ugh, just leave your application and write down your number -”

“It’s still the same -”

“All right, then I’ll unblock it -” she could almost hear the frown in Adora’s small  _ okay _ . “And I’ll give you a call and let you know in a couple of days.”

“Is there anyone else you’re thinking of?” Adora’s eyes had widened just a bit, her brows turned up with that sickening hopeful expression Catra was so used to and had never hated quite as much as she did seven years ago. 

She pressed her lips together, fighting back a smirk. “Well considering my only other applicants are some drunk and Kyle --”

“Oh,  _ Kyle _ .”

“ -- No… no one else is looking promising.”

Adora’s face stretched into a smirk, and one eyebrow lowered in a conspiratory way. “Then why not just give me the job?” 

She had to calm herself down. “I don’t partake in nepotism, Adora.” But Catra couldn’t help the teasing smile that pulled at the corner of her lips.

Adora snorted and braced her hands on her hips again. “Does this even count?”

Catra’s ear twitched and she tugged at a loose strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail in order to maintain  _ some _ semblance of not panicking. “Well I guess we’re not friends, so not really.”

“ _ Ouch _ .” Catra tried to ignore the fondness practically radiating off of Adora as she clasped a hand against her chest in mock pain. “Zinger.”

This was a bad idea. This was a  _ very _ bad idea. But Catra couldn’t stop her traitorous mouth. “I’ll call you.”

Adora just smiled, her whole face softening. “Can’t wait.”

And then with just a short wave and a grunt as she hopped back into her truck, Adora was driving back down towards the main road.

\--

Within moments of Adora’s truck disappearing behind the trees that lined the drive, Catra found herself worked into a tizzy. She couldn’t stop pacing the porch, tugging at her hair as her tail whipped frantically behind her. This was such a dumb idea. She should just not call Adora and hire Kyle and call it a day, right?

But… no, she knew Adora. She knew that within a week she would see that damn truck come rolling over the horizon again and Catra would see those slate colored eyes fill with pleading gentleness and Adora would probably reach over and touch her shoulder and say something so fucking  _ kind _ that Catra would scream at her to get the fuck away from her and  _ God _ she didn’t  _ want _ Adora to walk away from her and --

_ Fuck _ .

Swinging the door open with all of her might, Catra practically threw herself to where her phone had been abandoned by the kitchen sink. She had changed  _ her _ number in the last few years, but she had never forgotten Adora’s.

In fact, she had to program it in her phone with the name DO NOT CONTACT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES after the one time she dialed it from memory while not completely sober at three in the morning and almost hissed into the receiver when Adora groggily answered. Luckily it seemed like Adora had brushed it off as a weird prank or telemarketer or  _ something _ because she never attempted to call back.

Well, at least not before Catra had blocked the number  _ again _ .

She fell backwards into her kitchen chair and scrolled down her contacts list, thumb hovering over contact First Name: DO NOT CONTACT Last Name: UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. (She had figured it being all the way under U would  _ also _ help.) With a sigh she tapped into the details and changed the name back to Adora Gray, and hesitantly unblocked the number. 

Okay… Step one done… But maybe she should call and tell Adora she didn’t need help after all. Maybe she should just cut this off at the bud and not let herself get any deeper. Maybe she should just… 

With a sigh, Catra scrolled back up and called someone  _ else _ .

“Hey Wildcat!”

“Hey, Scorpia.”

“... You okay?” 

Ugh, she was terrible at keeping her emotions out of her voice. Or Scorpia had just gotten really good at reading her over the years. Or… Both, probably both. 

“I’m f--” No, she was more  _ open _ these days. She sighed. “Actually, no. I… Adora showed up today.”

“Whoa, what?  _ Adora _ Adora? The one you grew up with?” Her voice was rising with every question and Catra could feel the hairs on her neck standing on edge. “The one who got the scholarship? The one who left and broke your--”

“ _ Yes _ ,” she hissed, running a hand down her face. “The  _ only _ Adora I know.”

“Oh, wow.” There was a heavy pause and Catra took a moment to catch her breath. “Didn’t she move away like five years ago?”

“Seven.”

“And now she’s back?”

“I guess.”

“Is she just visiting?”

“She came by to apply for the farmhand job.”

“Oh,  _ wow _ .”

Catra leaned over to rest her head in her hand against the table. “Yeah.” She really hoped that Scorpia would say  _ something  _ that would make Catra realize how bad an idea this was immediately. But she didn’t. “I think I might give her the job?”

A small hum crossed the line. “Is… Is that going to be good for  _ you _ ?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Pressing two fingers into her temple, Catra let out a heavy breath. “I mean, I really could use the help, and she already knows the place…”  _ and she’s definitely gotten stronger _ . “She seemed to be acting like nothing happened, though? And I’m not sure if I should bring it up or…”

“I mean,” Scorpia started, and Catra could hear the faint whistling of Scorpia’s fiancée in the background. She hated interrupting them. “Ultimately you gotta do what’s best for you, Catra. You were in a really bad place after she left, right?”

Catra made a soft grunt of agreement. 

“Buuut you’ve also been in therapy for a while now and are doing a lot better… And I think you’ve said that you realized how little it really had to do with  _ her _ , right?”

A (regrettable) hum of approval.

“So I guess if you feel okay with her being around? You wouldn’t  _ really _ have to talk to her much more than when you’re giving her some instruction?” She could envision Scorpia’s bouncing knees, indicating how much she was unwilling to give a direct answer. “And I do think you could use some help out there… But it’s all about your wellbeing first, okay Wildcat?”

Catra felt her shoulders relax. “Yeah, okay…” It wasn’t much, but just talking to Scorpia helped her calm down and think more clearly. “Thanks, Scorp.”

“Anytime, bestie.”

A laugh bubbled up from her chest as they hung up, and Catra dropped the phone back down to the table. Okay, this was going to be  _ fine _ . She could figure this out. She needed the help and it’s not exactly like applications were flying in. She could handle time around Adora. This would be  _ fine _ .

\--

After a long shower to calm her nerves and a warm dinner to make sure she wasn’t making any rash decisions out of hunger-driven-mania, Catra sat in bed, staring at Adora’s number in her phone. Deep breath in, and out…

She dialed.

“Hello?”

Another deep breath.

“Hey, Adora.”

A small laugh across the line. “Haven’t heard that in a while.” Then, she could hear Adora pull the phone away from her ear before speaking again. “You changed your number.”

Catra bit her lip before responding. “A lot about me has changed.” Fuck. That was too flirty.

“Are you…” Hesitation. “I… I’d like to get to know you again.” Catra felt her grip on the phone tighten. “If you’ll let me.”

Catra drew her knees up under her chin and wiped at her cheek with a sweaty palm. “I don’t know yet.”

A beat, and then “all right.”

“Are you free tomorrow night?” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Meet at Razz’s? We can talk about your contract.” She crossed her arm across her knees before pressing her forehead against them. 

“You’re hiring me?”

“On a trial basis.”

“I’ll take it.”

“Six?”

“Usual booth?”

“See you there, Adora.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

Catra hung up.

Everything about Adora blossomed warmth in her chest. Her voice had grown a little deeper over the years, but it was still so kind and gentle and so damn  _ Adora _ that Catra felt a familiar glow burning inside of her - one that she had missed so much more than she had even realized.

She wiped at the tear on her cheek.

Her heart felt lighter than it had in years.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the positive feedback on chapter 1!! I'm going to try to stick to an update a week, but I am bad at keeping with schedules so we'll see how long that lasts haha!
> 
> [I've made a playlist for this fic now! Feel free to check it out :)](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/333cemPhqiLgwL0kwykDhQ?si=UxMSRKF4RaqQweirpr2uDQ)

Of course she was running late. Of  _ course _ . She had started getting nervous and then started doing some extra work that could  _ definitely _ wait until tomorrow to try and keep her mind off of the nerves, and then the next thing she knew, she had about fifteen minutes until she had to leave and she was sweaty and covered in dirt and absolutely needed a shower. So she had hopped in, slipped a little, banged her elbow, scurried out, and threw her sopping wet hair up into some sort of messy bun because there was absolutely  _ not  _ enough time to blow dry her curls and make them look even slightly presentable. 

So she left about five minutes after she meant to, and Razz’s was a twenty minute drive, and she got held up by some freaking cows on the road, and now it was ten after six and she was practically running for the door. 

And then she realized that she needed to take a fucking  _ breath _ .

Skidding to a halt, Catra stepped aside by the doorway to hold it open for the familiar faces of Spinerella and Netossa, who greeted her with big smiles.

“Hey, Kitty,” Netossa grinned, throwing an arm around her neck. “You look flustered. And we just saw a blast from the past sitting at your usual booth in there. Oh, this  _ is _ interesting!”

The blush burned brighter against her skin as she squirmed out of the older woman’s grip. “I--”

“Oh leave her, Darling.”

When she was finally free, Catra let out a groan as she squeezed her fluffed up tail between her hands. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The couple looked at her, taking in the actually coordinated outfit, and nodded. “Mhmm,” Netossa hummed, turning away and continuing her exit. “Whatever you say!”

Catra glared behind them before taking in a deep breath and straightening her shoulders. This was going to be  _ fine _ . It was just Adora and it was  _ just _ a business meeting. She pushed open the door with a slight huff of effort and directed her gaze immediately to the back corner booth that she was overly familiar with.

Adora didn’t notice her at first, and Catra did her best to look at this as an advantage. It probably meant Adora hadn’t seen her running to the diner, and it definitely meant she had some time to make a much more cool entrance. But it only took two steps before Adora looked up at her as if she had felt Catra staring, and a bright smile stretched across her cheeks. She lifted a hand to wave, and smacked over her glass of water, and Catra found herself snorting once before striding the rest of the way across the room.

“Ooh, I do love seeing that pro athlete coordination in action.”

Adora had jumped up and was doing her best to mop up the water that was pooling on the table. “What can I say?” she grinned, a blush burning on her cheeks. “Soccer. No hands.”

With a quirked eyebrow, Catra crossed her arms over her chest. “You were a goalie.”

A pause, and then a bashful “you got me!” before Adora bent down to gather the shards of glass on the ground, and Catra found her eyes lingering a little south of where they should be. Fuck, the years of training had made her even more fit and the cut of that denim was only  _ enhancing _ things. 

“Let me go bring these to Jewelstar…” Adora got up with a groan and hesitated for just a moment when Catra’s eyes snapped back up to her face. “Um…” She took a deep breath before tilting her head to the side. “Usual?”

“Coffee with some cream is fine.”

Adora faltered, and then nodded with a half smile before heading up to the counter. Catra couldn’t stop her stare from following after her.

With a sigh and roll of her eyes, Catra moved to sit at the booth, picking up the pile of wet napkins between two fingers with a sound of disgust before dropping them down into the now empty glass. The surface was still damp, but it seemed Adora had used up every absorbent item that was on the table in an attempt to clean it up. At least it was just water.

By the time Adora came back, some young server that Catra didn’t recognize had come up to finish trying the table off, and left them with some fresh glasses of water. “Oh, good,” Adora mumbled, sliding into her side of the booth and grimacing. “Ah, seats still wet. Oh well.” 

Catra had propped her cheek up on her fist, and was slowly dragging her pinkie nail back and forth over her bottom lip, eyes narrowed as Adora fidgeted in front of her. There was something enticing about how she squirmed under Catra’s gaze, and she  _ maybe _ found herself wondering just how much she could make Adora sweat.

“So,” Adora blew out a breath after a moment, tugging at the collar of her button down. “Is this like a formal interview or…”

Oh, she had to have  _ some _ sympathy. “What?” Catra let out a laugh and pushed some loose curls back off of her forehead. “No, dummy. You have the job, I just wanted to go over details.”

“Ohthankgod,” came out all in one breath before Adora reached up to unbutton the top three closures of her shirt. “I was dying in this thing.”

Catra made a poor attempt to swallow through the sudden dryness in her mouth, and pulled her mug of coffee up to her lips, dragging out one slow sip. “I was wondering why you were dressed like that.”

Adora shrugged before lifting her own mug up to her mouth, visibly relaxing. “Wanted to make a good second first-impression.”

“Well you spilled water all over the table and broke a glass so I’m not sure how well that’s going for you.” When Adora let out a snort and a big laugh, Catra couldn’t help the smirk that quirked up at the corner of her lips. Shit, she did always love that laugh. “All right, super star,” she leaned over to her bag to pull out the contract. “Here’s the deal.”

\--

Ultimately going over the specifics of the job didn’t take long at all. It was all very familiar for Adora, and she was more than willing to work the hours Catra had laid out for her. Monday through Thursday for standard work was six to four, and then on Sunday they would go down to the farmers market from ten until two. Catra offered a more than fair wage which Adora accepted with enthusiasm, and suddenly the contract was signed, and their food was just arriving. 

“So,” Catra hummed, slipping the papers back into her bag. “What brought you back to town anyway? I didn’t really… get to properly ask, yesterday.”

She didn’t miss the way Adora practically choked on her sandwich.

“Ah, I… um…” Adora clapped a hand against her chest and took a heavy gulp of her coffee which had been practically drowned in cream and sugar. “Yeah, you know, just uh, city life wasn’t for me in the end! I loved university and playing there, and got my degree and everything but uh,” she hummed again, and Catra could feel Adora’s knees bouncing under the table. She wasn’t telling the whole truth. “When I joined the semi-pro league I just… I had to leave my friends, and it just wasn’t what I was expecting… Figured I could use some time away, regroup and…” Adora rubbed at the back of her neck, smiling. “Get back to my roots.”

Catra nodded and tapped her fork against her plate. “How long have you been back for?”

There was hesitation and then an almost shameful chuckle. “... Maybe forty-ish hours?”

She couldn’t help the disbelieving burst of a laugh that tore from her chest. “Oh, leave it to you to try and find a job within a day of coming back here. You can’t sit still, can you?”

“Nah,” Adora said with a shrug. “When could I ever?”

Catra’s laugh softened slightly. “Even in the summers when you’d stay over, you kept working until I physically dragged you back in to take a damn shower and go to bed.” Adora looked sheepish as she took another bite of her food. “You really were Weavers favorite employee. I’m surprised you didn’t work in your sleep.”

Adora grinned and swallowed her bite. “I might have, you don’t know.”

“You  _ have _ punched me a couple times,” Catra mused, lifting her fork to her mouth.

“Honestly I’m surprised you didn’t scratch me up more than you did.”

“I should have. You were the worst to share a bed with.” Catra scoffed and pointed her fork towards Adora’s face. “Besides, you’d be  _ way _ more badass with some scars.”

She hated the way Adora’s eyes filled with mischief. “Oh, I’ve got some scars.”

But she couldn’t stop the way her tongue darted out to the corner of her mouth as her eyes trailed down what parts of Adora’s chest she could see. Catra knew every inch of her body and couldn’t recall many permanent blemishes on Adora’s skin. She couldn’t deny that her interest had been piqued.

Wait.  _ Fuck _ .

Catra snapped her gaze back down to her food and shook her head. “Well don’t be clumsy enough to get caught in my equipment and hopefully you won’t get any more here.”

“Aye, aye, boss.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Catra feeling the tension settling again where there was momentarily a familiar easiness. She felt it in her gut that they’d have to talk about everything  _ eventually _ , but she wasn’t ready for it. Not yet. Definitely not now. She could feel her ears flattening against her head in frustration, trying to figure out how exactly to move this forward when Adora let out a light cough and broke the silence.

“So why’d you take over Weaver’s place again?” 

_ Ugh _ . She didn’t want it to go like  _ that _ .

“She kicked the bucket and I bought it.” Catra risked one look up at Adora and almost felt her frown like a punch in the stomach. “I didn’t like her, but I really loved the homestead.” Her shoulders relaxed just a little as Adora slid her hand across the table, offering it up like she used to. Catra wasn’t ready to take it yet, but she appreciated the effort. “Plus, I think she’d hate knowing I had it… and I’m nothing if not spiteful, right?”

Adora’s barking laugh cut through the noise of the diner again, and Catra cursed the fucking flush on her cheeks. “It was always one of my favorite things about you. Not the --” Adora fumbled, leaning forward to place both palms flat on the table. “Not that I think you’re like, spiteful but…” An awkward chuckle. “I mean, the whole…” She waved her hands in front of her face for a moment, as if trying to find the right words.” I-I think it motivates you. You may start out with spite but it always blooms into something incredible.”

Oh, Catra could  _ not _ resist. “Aww,” she purred, leaning forward and propping her chin up in her hand, elbow against the table. “You think I’m incredible? I mean, I guess I can’t blame you.”

“Yeah, I do,” Adora started, her fingers brushing lightly against Catra’s forearm. “It’s pretty embarrassing.”

Fuck. Fuck shit goddamnit fuck. 

Catra watched with delight as Adora’s eyes immediately dropped to her mouth, where she had gently caught her bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it over with a pass of her tongue. It was only a moment before their eyes met again, and Catra swore to whatever higher being may or may not exist that if something didn’t stop her right now, she might break every rule she had ever made in regards to Adora.

That higher being sent Razz.

“Dearies!” her voice broke through their haze as she slapped a dish down between them, forcing them both to sit back in their respective benches. “I made you a special pie!” She pulled a large knife out of her apron and Adora met Catra’s eyes with the same concerned amusement she felt on her own face. “Made fresh with some berries from sweet little Casta… Oh she has grown so quick!”

Adora ran a frustrated hand against her cheek before smiling over at the old woman. “Thanks, Razz. I can’t wait to try it.” There was an almost familial familiarity between Adora and Razz, and Catra couldn’t help but smile at them as Razz leaned up to wipe a smudge from the side of Adora’s mouth. They had spent a ton of their childhood running around Razz’s backyard, when Adora had been dropped off there for a weekend or three, and Catra knew that Adora looked at her like a grandmother. 

“Mixed berries!” Razz exclaimed while cutting them each a hefty slice. “I have ice cream in the back if you want it!”

Before they could even answer, she was scurrying off and practically chucking forks at them from a few feet away. Adora’s laugh softened Catra’s nerves, and she scrunched up her nose to stop the smile from showing on her face. “So, when did you want to start?”

“Hmm?”

Of course, Adora’s mouth was already stuffed with the pie. 

Catra just shook her head and tapped a nail against the table. “Do you need some time to settle in? Or do you want to start as soon as possible?”

“Oh!” She sat up straighter, but not before shoveling another mouthful of pie into her face. “As soon as possible, definitely. I’m just… staying with Razz so… Not much to settle.” She shrugged. “Didn’t bring much back.”

That made sense. Adora never was one for material things. “All right, well, tomorrow, then?”

Adora wiggled in her seat to pull her wallet out from her back pocket, dropping some bills on the table. “Yeah, sounds great!”

With a flick of her wrist, Catra took a (much smaller) bite of the pie, sighing with relief. Damn. it really  _ was _ delicious. 


	3. Chapter 3

Catra barely slept.

She had been on an early to bed early to rise sleep schedule for most of her life, but falling asleep last night had proven to be a struggle. Maybe it was nerves. Maybe it was that her idiot brain ordered a coffee at six pm rather than letting Adora know she still knew anything about her. 

Luckily she could tell by Adora’s reaction that it had paid off, so that was a win she supposed.

Her alarm blared again at five-fifteen and Catra rolled over with a groan, slapping a hand against her lamp and wincing as the new light practically blinded her. She took five minutes to slink to the bathroom and splash some water on her face, staring blearily into the mirror. This was going to be fine. She didn’t even have to really interact much with Adora once she got out to work, right? Honestly, the less they spoke the better, probably.

Their night had wrapped up pretty quickly after Razz made them both take home extra pie, and Adora had walked Catra over to her car, hands jammed into her pockets.

“So,” she had hummed, rocking back from her heels to her toes. “This was fun.” It had almost felt like the end to one of their old dates, until Adora shrugged as if she felt it too and added “... for a business meeting.”

“I guess,” Catra had laughed, tossing her bagged up food into her car. “I’ve definitely had worse meetings.”

Adora grinned and crossed her arms over her chest, smug. “Have you had better? … Meetings?”

“Oh, definitely.” She could help but laugh at the frown on Adora’s face. “Most of my business meetings end up with me getting paid.” Then, just for fun, “and most of my  _ non-business _ meetings end up with me getting  _ laid _ .”

Ah, it was worth it for that pink on Adora’s cheeks. But then she said “too bad this was a business meeting, then,” with a quick dart of her tongue against her lips, and Catra found herself groaning in multiple types of frustration.

“I walked right into that.”

Adora’s shoulders lifted with nonchalance, as if it hadn’t affected her in the slightest. “Couldn’t resist.”

A silence fell between them again for just a moment before Adora jerked her thumb over her shoulder and hummed. “So, uh, early morning. Should probably head home.”

“Yeah,” Catra agreed, tapping her keys against her knuckles. “Well… see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” 

Catra had begun to stick her hand out for a shake when Adora came in and wrapped her arms around her for a hug, trapping Catra’s fist awkwardly between their stomachs. She took in a heavy breath, full of Adora’s scent, still the same… still familiar and overwhelming. She was practically lost in it by the time Adora pulled away, shoving her hands back in her pockets as she mumbled an uneasy apology. 

Oh, right, they weren’t  _ that  _ anymore.

“It’s fine, Adora.”

And then they said goodbye, and then Catra drove home, and then she proceeded to lay in bed for an absurd amount of time just basking in the warmth of the very missed embrace.

And now she was leaning over her sink, eyes drooping, because a  _ hug _ had sent her spiraling.

Catra rolled her neck and reached - a little more aggressively than she meant to - for her toothbrush and began her morning routine. Brush teeth. Try not to think about Adora. Wrestle hair back into some sort of presentable ponytail. Try not to think about Adora. Put on sunscreen. Try not to think about Adora. Get dressed.

Fail at not thinking about Adora.

Catra pulled a light linen shirt over her shoulders and stumbled as she stepped into her work shorts. A frustrated yelp tore from her throat. Okay,  _ fine _ , maybe she would let herself think about Adora for just a moment.

Because old feelings were rearing up, and it had hurt like hell when she left. 

Adora really had tried to keep up with Catra. She called every night, and came back to visit when she could - but as her first year at school continued on and she got busier, she could only visit on breaks when she didn’t have practice. Catra had started working at Razz’s on the weekends, and at the corner store during the weekdays, so even when Adora could visit, it felt almost pointless. Catra had tried to go up to visit Adora as a surprise once, but she had been drowning in school work and passed out after morning practice and they just decided it maybe wasn’t worth wasting the gas. 

Then one night, after text upon text confirming their scheduled phone call, Catra sat and waited two hours past when she was supposed to hear from Adora. Figuring she had just gotten caught up with school work, Catra had dialed her up with only a little bit of irritation.

Until she heard the pounding music in the background. 

“Caaaatra!” Adora hollered, her voice barely beating out the background noise, and Catra’s minor annoyance blew up into full-on anger. “Hiii, hiiiiii.”

“You were supposed to call two hours ago.”

“... What?”

Catra bit her lip hard and hugged her knees closer to her chest. “Are you drunk?”

“Kinda, I’m… hang on!” She could hear Adora making her way out of the noise, heard her excuse herself as she presumably pushed through a crowd, before she blew out a loud “whew!” and laughed into the receiver. “Sorry!” 

“You promised we’d talk tonight.”

“Oh, shit, oh my god.” Adora’s words were just slightly slurred, and Catra was glad she caught her before she was totally gone. “I’m -- baby, I’m really sorry. Fuck. I had my last final tonight and Glimmer and Bow surprised me and --”

She could feel her hair rise on end at the mention of Adora’s other friends. “You know what? I’m over this.”

“What? Catra, what do you m--”

Catra pressed the heel of her palm into her forehead and ignored the stinging beneath her eyelids. “I’m done, Adora.” She could feel everything in her fighting the words pouring from her lips, but she was so fucking  _ hurt _ . “I’m done with the not seeing you, and you always having practice, and you flaking on our calls, and your other friends  _ always  _ being a priority over me --”

“Catra, they’re  _ not _ \-- I --”

“We’re done.” Her throat burned. “Don’t bother me if you ever come back to town. Though it seems you think you’re too good for us now anyway.”

Then she hung up and blocked Adora from every form of contact they had.

It had worked for seven years. She didn’t know if Adora ever came back to their home town in all that time, and honestly that suited her just fine. If she had, at least Adora had enough respect for her to listen to what she wanted. 

Well, until now.

Catra almost fell down the stairs just in time to catch the bright headlights of Adora’s truck rolling up the driveway - she was a little early, typical Adora - before Catra flipped on the coffee maker. She was going to need  _ buckets _ to get through today, and she figured it would be a good peace offering.

Her ears twitched just slightly as the truck rolled to a stop and she heard Adora jump onto the dirt before footsteps bounced up the porch steps before hesitating at the door. Would she come right in? She had used to - but that was when it was Weaver’s home and it was allowed. The rules were different now. Would she just wait outside, not wanting to disturb Catra so early? But certainly she saw the lights on… 

Then Catra heard a familiar rhythm of rapping on the wood - one that she had heard so many times on so many late nights before Adora snuck in through her bedroom window - and she couldn’t stop the small laugh that bubbled up from her chest.

She raised her voice just enough to be heard. “Come in, Adora.”

The door creaked and Adora peeked through the opening, grinning wildly. “Hey, I could have been anyone! What if I were a murderer?”

Catra crossed her arms over her chest and leaned up against the counter, one eyebrow raised. “I heard your truck, and you used our old  _ secret _ knock.” Then she shrugged. “But honestly, if a murderer came all the way out here to kill me, I think I’d have to give it to them.”

A chuckle and a snort, and then Adora was fully in her kitchen, leaning up against the door like she belonged there. “Sorry I’m a little early.”

Catra rolled her eyes before moving to the cabinet to get down two mugs. “I expected nothing less. Coffee?”

“Yes please!”

She chanced a glance back at her visitor, who was looking directly at her. “Cream and sugar?”

Adora smiled wide, her face soft. “Aww, you remembered.”

Catra chuckled, fixing her mug. “Of course I did - it’s not like it’s hard. Your preference is just ‘the sweeter the better’.” She listened carefully to Adora’s movements behind her, only a tiny bit disappointed that she hadn’t come over and propped her chin on Catra’s shoulder to observe what she was doing like Adora would have when they were younger. With a deep breath, she spun on her heel and froze for just a second at the sight of Adora seated in the kitchen, leaned back in the chair and flipping through the newspaper on the table.

This was all Catra had wanted, once upon a time. A life with Adora, just like this. 

“Don’t know how you drink it like this,” Catra grimaced as she plopped the mug down on the surface, wincing as a little spilled out onto her hand. “So sweet.” She sat down in front of Adora, lifting her own coffee - black - up to her own mouth. 

Adora thanked her and sipped at the far-too-pale drink before sighing contentedly. “You always do make it just right.” 

“If you keep complimenting me like that I’m gonna get a big head.” 

Their eyes met across the table. “Ah, then I guess I’ll keep at it.”

Catra’s heart sped up beneath her ribs and she tugged uncomfortably at a loose strand of hair. “Anyway,” she mumbled, turning her head to look out the window. “Everything’s pretty much the same. You can just run through your old routine if you remember it. Only things I’ve added was a little mushroom farm in the back shed and expanded on the peppers a bit.”

“Still got animals?” Adora peered up at her, expression clearly hopeful. Her favorite part of the job was always the critters.

“Just the chickens. I didn’t like raising meat...” She still shuddered at a vivid memory from childhood. “There are also some new barn cats that have migrated here. There’s a gray one who will probably either love or hate you. I think they’re attached to me.”

Adora had a small smirk on her lips. “Did you name them?”

“... No.”

She snorted and leaned forward, her smile growing. “You definitely did…”

“Ugh,” Catra pushed up off her chair and frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not paying you to torment me. Take your time finishing your coffee but then get to work, Adora.”

Adora practically saluted her. “You got it, boss.”

\--

So this was  _ way _ better than Catra had expected. Adora had very clearly remembered everything, and was flying through the work much quicker than anyone else would have ever been able to. She was practically anyone’s dream employee.

The only downside was how outright  _ distracting _ she was.

It was no secret that Adora was attractive - she always had been - but it was clear that after she left she devoted much more time into perfecting her body. Maybe it was just a result of being an athlete, but the sheer volume of her spoke to it being more than that.

Catra had watched with a dry mouth when, after about two hours, Adora had taken down her signature ponytail before flipping it up into a messy topknot, presumably to keep all of it off of her neck, and exposed the tiniest bit of skin. That had taken a minor toll on Catra, causing her to fumble and drop the egg she was about to package. She cursed to herself and cleaned it up, but recovered relatively quickly.

It was when Catra walked out to offer Adora something to eat that she just about lost her mind.

Adora was standing there in just a tight gray tank top, overshirt now being used as a rag to wipe the sweat off her forehead, and stretching her arms behind her back. She was completely oblivious to Catra’s wide-eyed stare, and Catra knew she  _ had _ to pull it together before Adora  _ did _ take notice.

“Hey, Adora!” Catra yelled, hoping the scrunch of the holler would realign her face to something more normal. “Do you want lunch? I made…” Adora’s smiling gaze turned up to meet her stopped Catra in her tracks. Oh no, she was completely drawing a blank on what she made. “... Food.” Eh, good enough.

“Oh ho!” Adora started jogging towards the house, and Catra had to look away from all her… movement. “You cook? Since when!”

“Since -” she was eighteen and forced to move out and live alone. “A while now. I didn’t know if you brought anything so…” Adora hopped up the steps and wrapped a hand around the post, leaning against it, sufficiently drawing Catra’s eyes back to her slightly heaving chest and much-larger-than-she-remembered arms. “Ugh, jeez, can you put a damn shirt on?”

Adora blinked once, eyebrows coming together as she looked down at her body. “I… I do have a shirt on?”

Catra felt her eyes narrow as their gazes met. “You’re going to get sunburned.” 

“... I mean, I put on sunblock?” Adora’s lips had turned into a pout, and she looked like she genuinely wasn’t able to figure out what on earth Catra was so worried about before she pointed back over her shoulder with her thumb. “If it’ll make you feel better… I can put my flannel back on… I was just really hot.”

God, she was  _ really _ hot.

Catra swallowed and rolled her eyes before waving her hand up in the air. “Nevermind. Are you going to come eat or what?”

Perking right back up, Adora practically strutted in through the doorway before following Catra to the kitchen, and propping herself up on the counter just behind where Catra had to stand. “What did you make, chef?”

Catra was doing her best to ignore the heat radiating off of Adora’s body and how close she was and how she could practically hear the blood rushing through her ears. “Just, um,” she stammered, cheeks flushed. “Just some eggs in red sauce. Weaver made it a lot and it’s easy -- she called it, um,” Catra turned to look over her shoulder at Adora, who was smiling softly as she listened. “Eggs in Purgatory? I think? It’s… it’s good. I make it spicy, though.”

“Oooh,” Adora hummed, leaning closer and admiring the perfectly cooked eggs. “Like… how spicy?” Some of her loose hair tickled at Catra’s cheek, and Catra practically groaned at the contact.

“My kind of spicy.” It almost came out with the tone of a threat.

Adora laughed and stepped back, shoving her hands in her back pockets and leaning away from the stove. “So what you’re saying is… I might die.”

A chuckle bubbled up from Catra’s chest against her will as she crossed her arms and felt a smirk tugging at her lips. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“All right, challenge accepted.” 

Adora stepped away and moved to the cabinets, easily remembering where everything was, before pulling down some plates and cups. Everything about her movement in the room screamed comfort, familiarity, and  _ home _ . It was indulgent to think, for just a moment, what could have been if Adora hadn’t left, if they were still something.

Grabbing the pan from the stove with a huff, Catra set it down on the table before dropping into a chair.

It didn’t matter what could have been, did it?

This was where they were.

When Adora sat down across from her and gave Catra the biggest smile could muster before digging right into the food, Catra bit at her lip. 

This was better than nothing, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when the update a week doesn't happen after a single week ,,,,,,,,, 
> 
> (tbf i *did* post another fic ;) )
> 
> Thank y'all so much for reading as always!! I really appreciate comments & love chatting with all of yooou~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew some art for this chapter! I do not know how to embed pictures into the fic because I am OLD but it's linked [riiiiiight heeeere :3](https://twitter.com/feistypaaants/status/1317919895644983299)

Adora  _ might _ be the death of Catra. 

They were headed to the farmers market today, so it was clear that Adora had decided to dress slightly more fashionably - at least by Adora’s standards. She had arrived with her hair down, dressed in a simple black bandeau covered only by a pair of overalls that had been tucked at the ankle, and when she had hopped out of her truck, hair flowing around her bare shoulders, Catra felt like her entire mouth was glued shut.

“I brought an overshirt… you know, just in case… Sunburn.” The innocent way she said it made Catra’s cheeks flush so deeply that there was no way Adora didn’t notice.

Catra would run herself over with a tractor if she could.

“Can you just load up your truck, please?” Her voice was strained, but Adora just nodded and made her way over to the pile of boxes.

All right, correction -- 

Catra sighed as she watched Adora heave up heavy crates into the bed of her truck, her uncovered back and arms flexing with every move.

\-- Adora absolutely  _ would _ be the death of Catra.

With one last grunt, all of the boxes were in the truck and Adora was brushing her hands together before placing them triumphantly at her hips. “Anything else you need me to grab?”

There was no helping it as Catra stepped closer and pinched at Adora’s biceps with hardly an iota of annoyance. Adora flinched, but didn’t pull away. “You play soccer,” Catra said, wrapping thin fingers around the width of her arm. “There’s no way you just looked like this without try-harding. Why are you so big?”

Adora snort-laughed and flexed just a little, her dorky little grin blooming a warmth in Catra’s chest. “Well I guess it started because I needed a distraction after -” She hesitated for a moment, swallowing before averting her eyes. “After the seasons ended. So I started lifting. And I liked it.” She winked and lifted one eyebrow slightly before flexing just a little more. “And  _ girls _ liked it.”

“Blegh.” Catra tugged her hand away, rolling her eyes, and walked quickly towards the passenger side door. “Girls are so easy. Just a wink and a flex, huh? Then they were doing whatever you asked, I bet.” 

Adora’s laughter only cut off when Catra slammed the door shut, rubbing her hands down her face quickly enough for Adora not to catch her as she opened her door and hopped up to her seat. “You know, I wish it had been that easy.”

“Please,” Catra said, laughing as her mouth formed around the next question without her mind’s consent. “I bet you were easily in the double digits of partners.”

Oh no.

The truck started, and Adora’s hand clapped against the back of Catra’s seat before she started backing out, humor evident in her voice. “Why do you say that?”

Shut up. Just stop talking. “I mean,  _ look _ at you.” That is  _ not _ being quiet. She crossed her arms over her chest and sunk down in the seat before taking a glance at the driver. Their eyes caught, and Catra groaned as Adora’s smirk stretched. “Oh, shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.” She just shifted the truck into drive, and started down the dirt road.

“We both know what you look like, okay? This doesn’t mean I like you or whatever. It just means I have eyes.”

“Got it. You do not like me,” Adora said with a chuckle before turning onto the main road and starting their drive to town. “But, for the record, I also have eyes.” Catra risked a peek up at Adora, and felt her eyebrows rise as she noticed the pink tinging Adora’s cheeks. “And I always thought you were way too hot for me. So. I figured you did pretty well for yourself.” She shrugged and bit at the inside of her cheek.

“Do you want to ask my number, Adora?” Catra couldn’t help the flirty lilt of her voice as she sat back up in her seat, confidence boosted.

“No,” she said too quickly, blush darkening. “... Okay, maybe a little.”

Catra laughed, twisting in the seat and leaning against the window to face Adora. Was she really going to answer this? It wasn’t high, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the mystery of it all was more intriguing than the truth. “Tell me yours first, and I’ll think about it.”

A snort. “I didn’t keep track.”

That was surprising. “Not even of your relationships?”

“Oh, there were zero relationships,” Adora said, a frown on her lips. “I was too busy for that.”

Interesting. “Wow, all right… Estimate?”

Biting at her cheek, Adora shrugged. “... I really don’t know. I liked going to parties, and usually hooked up with someone. City life was different. You never really ran into them again.”

Catra couldn’t help but feel an unwelcome pit of jealousy rise up in her stomach. “Guess you moved on easily enough, then.”

The truck jerked to a stop and Catra threw her arm out to brace herself against the dashboard. “What the hell, Adora?” She whipped her head around to glare at the driver, whose jaw was clenched as she stared back at Catra, a clear irritation evident on her features. “... What?”

Adora swallowed before her brows furrowed deeper. “You’re kidding, right?” 

“Well you were already going to parties when we broke up,” Catra scoffed, sinking low back in her seat again. “I can’t imagine it was long before the rest of that started.”

A bitter laugh tore from Adora’s throat before she practically threw the gear shift into park and dropped her head against the wheel, triggering the horn to blare. Catra jumped as she clamped her hands over her ears, hollering a frustrated “Stop!”

When the horn finally silenced, Catra could feel tension in her throat as she stared on with bewilderment at Adora. “Again, what the hell?!”

“Nothing.” Her voice had changed, and she took a breath before sliding the gear back to drive, and continuing down the main road. “We’re going to be late.”

Well that was the end of that.

\--

They set up her booth in silence. 

Catra hadn’t been able to stop sneaking glances at Adora, who had gone straight to unloading the product without a word. The only communication they had had in the last hour was Adora glancing at the row of booths and asking which one was Catra’s before heading over and setting up the baskets. Catra couldn’t help but feel like this was her fault, but every time she came close enough to say anything, Adora had practically darted away.

She used to do this. 

Adora would react one of two ways to any sort of disagreement they had when they were younger - she would either fight with her teeth bared, or she would avoid Catra until she figured it out on her own. It seemed she was on the avoidant route this time, which would absolutely make for a stressful few hours trapped together behind a seven foot long booth. But there was no talking until Adora was ready, and Catra hoped by the time they were headed back to the homestead she would be.

Catra grabbed one of the lighter crates before heading back to the booth, gnawing at the inside of her cheek as she did her best not to interrupt the conversation happening between Adora and Lonnie. Catra knew that Lonnie was just picking up her weekly stock of eggs and veg and would be on her way soon, so she did her best to stay quiet.

“Hey, Catra!” Damn it. She lifted her head up just enough to greet her old classmate, pushing her bangs off her face. “Man, Adora’s back and you managed to get her to come work for you? Lucky.” She placed a palm flat on the table with a grin. “If you ever get annoyed by her or her attitude, consider coming to work at the bar, huh?” 

The two women in front of her laughed, and Catra could feel her teeth grinding.

“Nah, you know she’s all talk,” Adora said, leaning back just a bit, her arms crossed over her chest. “No real  _ bite _ behind it. Besides,” she finally looked back at Catra and shrugged. “She feeds me. Can’t quite let go of that.”

Lonnie let out another whooping laugh before turning away with a smug little “well, it’s an open offer!” leaving Catra practically seething behind Adora.

With a heavy breath, Catra threw herself down onto one of the short folding chairs that the market provided, dropping her chin into her hand with a frown. After two more quick exchanges, Adora sat down beside her, scooting her own chair just a touch closer. “Hey,” she prodded, bumping their shoulders together. “You keep looking like such a sourpuss and you’re gonna scare off all the customers.”

“My stuff is good,” Catra mumbled, turning slightly away from Adora. “People buy from me all the time and I always look like this.”

Catra could hear a hum and the slight squeaking of Adora shifting in her chair before she felt someone else approach the booth. 

“Oh,  _ you’re _ new…” 

Catra felt her ear twitch with interest. She didn’t recognize the voice, but clearly the person knew who worked here on a regular basis. Catra risked one glance up to see a tall woman with broad shoulders and long red hair leaning over the produce. “What’s your name?”

“Oh!” The chair Adora had been sitting on screeched slightly as she stood, throwing her hand out for a shake. “Adora! Yeah I’m… New? Ish? I grew up here but just got back. Went to college but -- Ah, sorry, you don’t care --” The woman laughed and Catra’s eyes darted down to the joined hands between the two. “Your name is…?”

“Charlotte. Charlie if we’re friends.” Then her eyes dropped to Catra’s for just a moment before locking back onto Adora’s. “ _ You _ can call me Charlie.”

Catra felt her stomach drop as she let out an audible groan at how lame that was before Adora practically kicked her seat backwards. 

“Well, nice to meet you, Charlie.” Adora was doing that dorky laugh thing that happened whenever she was flustered, and Catra  _ had  _ to leave. Right now. 

She stood up quickly from her chair and turned on her heel. “I’m getting another crate,” she said, excusing herself, but felt her hackles rise at the complete lack of response.

Feeling the tension rising in her shoulders, Catra stalked back to the truck and sighed as she jumped up to sit on the edge of the bed, drawing her knees up to her chest. They had parked far enough away that she could get a moment of silence, but not so far that she couldn’t still  _ see _ that damn woman shamelessly flirting with Adora from across the booth if she sat in just the right position. Shit. Stop looking. Stop  _ looking _ . But then Adora tugged all of her hair over one shoulder, and leaned forward on the table, and her smile grew and --

“Catra?”

She yelped and startled before gripping tightly to the edge of the truck bed before turning a narrowed gaze at the intruder. She groaned. “What do you want, Kyle?”

“I … You looked tense so I wanted to see if you were all ri--”

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” she hissed, her ears pinning back to her skull. 

“Yeesh, all right,” he said, backing away with his hands raised in the air. “Just wanted to check.”

By the time he left, Catra could feel her frustration turning onto her  _ own _ actions. There was literally no reason for her to be acting this way, but something inside of her felt like it had been shaken loose - a feeling she hadn’t had in a long while, that honestly she thought she had managed to erase completely from her repertoire of  _ feelings _ . 

Then again, this only came up when it had something to do with  _ Adora _ , who was new and fresh back in her life again. Maybe this had just been a terrible idea after all. 

But at this point, Catra kind of wanted to start a fight. 

Hopping down from the truck, Catra grabbed a heavy crate, stormed back to her booth, and dropped it onto the table, shaking their entire inventory.

“Hey, Charles!” she hollered, eyes glancing down to the fruit in the strangers hand and sticking out a palm. “You gonna pay for that?” 

The woman blinked at her and frowned before placing it back in the basket. 

“Nah, if you’re not buying anything, move it along.”

The confusion on her face would supply Catra with enough laughter for the next month, easy.

“And  _ you _ ,” she huffed, pointing a finger at Adora as the customer practically ran away, Adora’s eyes following her for just a moment before snapping back to meet Catra’s. “I’m not paying you to flirt. Get it together and keep it in your pants.”

Adora blinked a couple times, her brows drawn close together, before nodding. “Yeah, sorry,” was all she mustered before turning back to face the rest of the market. 

That was better.

\--

The rest of the day was silent. Every so often one of them would excuse themselves to get more product, and before they knew it they had sold pretty much everything and were packing it up for the day. It was profitable, even with the commotion she caused, and Catra was more than thankful she hadn’t just scared everyone off with her outburst.

Shame had settled in pretty quickly, though, and Catra had spent more time than she ought to have worrying about what to do next. She helped Adora load the crates back into the truck, snapped up the door to the bed, and made her way to the passenger side. 

They both climbed in, and Adora started the truck with a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, gripping the steering wheel harder. “You’re right. I was working. That was unprofessional.”

Catra genuinely couldn’t believe her ears, and she balked at Adora’s sincerity. “Okay, no, hang on, I was going to apologize. You can’t ruin this for me!”

Then after a short moment, a soft laugh filled the cab of the truck. “You? Apologize? Since when?”

“I’ve been in therapy, Adora,” Catra sighed, an air of drama lacing her words. “And…” She swallowed, shrugging. “You weren’t doing anything wrong. I really am sorry. I don’t…” A beat, and a lie. “I don’t know what came over me.”

She did. It was jealousy. Just like this morning.

“If it helps…” Adora’s cheeks were pink, and her fingers were twisting on the steering wheel. “I wasn’t going to call her or anything. It just… felt nice.”

That did help, and Catra thought maybe she should spend a moment investigating that later.

“I don’t want that kind of thing anymore, you know?” Adora stuttered, working her jaw. “I… want something real, I guess.”

Catra rubbed at the back of her neck before tearing her eyes away from Adora, a flush rising from her chest. “Yeah,” she murmured, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. “I get it.”

It was what she wanted, too, if she was being honest with herself. Something real, with someone who cared.

She just wasn’t ready to admit who the ‘who’ of it all was yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like maybe we've got a little conflict arising hmmmmmmmm? 
> 
> Thanks again so much for reading y'all! I looove your comments and talking with all of you!! <3 please keep the feedback coming i really do thrive from it ;w;
> 
> [come hang out with me on twitter!!](https://twitter.com/feistypaaants)


	5. Chapter 5

“Helllooooo!” Catra’s front door swung open with a bang and she jumped, frowning at the sudden racket. “I come with the gift of coffee!”

It had been a few weeks since Adora had started working at the homestead, and she had quickly made herself completely comfortable in Catra’s home. She would come over unannounced on her days off, let herself in through the front door, raid the kitchen when she needed a break, and even started using the shower before leaving. 

When Catra had tried to tell her off the first couple of times, Adora had just given her one of those sad little pleading puppy dog pouts that she was  _ so _ damn good at, and Catra would simply groan and give in. Now, it was almost like they had established a whole routine. Adora would come over, they would have coffee and talk about what the plan for the day was, maybe eat a little breakfast, and then Adora would get out to working.

So it went.

“I have coffee here,” Catra mumbled, holding up a steaming mug in front of her face. “And it’s free.”

Adora frowned and glanced down at the two cups in her fists, before lifting them just a fraction higher. “But it’s from Spinny’s cafe…” A small waggle of her eyebrows, as if to be enticing. “I got the dark mocha just for you! I know it’s your favorite.”

Narrowed eyes scanned down and then back up the woman sheepishly standing in front of her before Catra sighed and put her mug on the counter. “Well, since you already paid for it… I guess I  _ have _ to drink it.” It absolutely didn’t affect her at all when their fingers brushed as she took the cup from Adora’s hands. “Just lightly flavored, right?”

“Only two and a half circles around the cup, I know.”

Of course she did. 

Adora’s grin grew even wider as Catra took her first sip, feeling slightly annoyed that it was absolutely perfect. At this point she almost wished her tastes had changed since she was eighteen. “Thank you,” she said, nail tapping at the lid of the cup. “It’s great.”

She watched as Adora’s satisfied lips curled over her own cup, sipping slowly at the steaming hot beverage, eyes locking onto Catra’s. She leaned against the counter, taking another long swig of her own drink, before a flush blossomed over her cheeks and chest as she realized that they were just  _ staring _ at one another as they drank their coffee. It felt too intimate, and Catra felt uncomfortable.

“Do you want the paper?” Catra asked, reaching blindly behind her to find the slightly crumpled newsprint. “Nothing too exciting. Some political scandal, some rich white man saying misogynistic things, you know. Typical.”

Adora closed the space between them to lean on her elbows right next to Catra, brushing their arms together just slightly. She started flipping through the pages as Catra felt her heart racing beneath her ribs, but she couldn’t find it in herself to pull away. Adora was always so warm and strong, and having the pressure of her pressing against Catra’s own body felt nice and familiar and safe. “What sports news do you get out here these days?”

Snorting, Catra let her head fall back to catch Adora’s gaze. “Not much, hotshot. They covered you for a little while, though.” Adora stood up again, and Catra found herself frowning at the loss of contact before she lifted her hands up, fingers spread, in front of her chest to frame the scene. “Hometown Hero Wins Again.”

“What’s the last thing they said about me?”

Catra startled slightly at the panic in Adora’s voice. She lifted her head rather lazily to look back up at Adora, squinting while trying to remember. “I… don’t know.” Truth be told she had tried her best to avoid the stories about Adora altogether. “Maybe… When you got signed? I didn’t pay attention after a while.”

Her eyes dropped to where Adora had started tugging at a loose thread on her shirt. “... You okay?”

“Oh, me?” She laughed, waving her hands in front of her face. “Yeah, yeah,  _ yeah _ . I’m good! Excellent!” Catra watched her face falter before spreading into a wide smile. “Just peachy!” Adora stumbled backwards, reaching for the door. “So… Gotta go feed the chicks! Uhh,” she paused and flexed her hand once, as if she was debating saying something else. 

Catra hadn’t moved, a little taken aback by this anxious display in front of her. “Adora?”

“Chickens, then root veg, then…” she had begun mumbling to herself as she pulled the door shut behind her, and Catra was left blinking in utter confusion.

\--

Catra had tried to bring Adora her coffee that she had left sitting on the kitchen table, but she had seemed so spaced out that she barely even registered it - now it was just getting cold on the hood of the tractor instead. Catra couldn’t help but continue watching her more closely than usual. 

It almost seemed like Adora was on autopilot, going through the motions but not really experiencing anything she was doing. Everything seemed to have a sense of urgency, and…

Catra’s ear twitched as she frowned, a memory of a much smaller Adora storming out into the field flashing in front of her.

Then she turned around, and could practically  _ see _ a much younger set of heterochromatic eyes staring back at her. 

_ “Adora?” Catra’s tail whipped behind her as she stalked through the kitchen, heading to the porch. “Adoraaaa?” She frowned and looked out across the field, finally spotting Adora running back and forth between the sheep, as if trying to herd them herself instead of letting the dogs do what they were purchased to do. “Adora!” _

_ Catra used all four of her limbs to sprint out and over the fence, leaping onto her friend and knocking her to the ground. “Hey, Adora,” she smirked, poking one finger against her best friend’s forehead. “What’cha doin’?” _

_ Blue eyes stared up at her, wide and wet, as Adora wiggled under her hips in a struggle to get out. “Let me go, Catra.” _

_ Sitting up, Catra frowned and settled into the others’ lap as Adora followed to sit upright. “What’s wrong?” _

_ “Nothing’s wrong.” Adora wiped at her cheeks with a clear air of irritation before pushing Catra off of her. “Just gotta… do the work.” _

_ Catra grunted as her bottom hit the dirt, and growled up at Adora. “You’re not even supposed to be working! We were doing homework and then you disappeared!” Adora stood in front of her, hands balled up into fists, before Catra jumped up to her feet. “Besides,” she yelled, controlled but annoyed. “Weaver isn’t here and she hates when we do stuff without asking.” _

_ Adora froze then, before her entire body deflated and she fell back to her butt and drew her knees up to her chest, burying her face into them. Catra could hear her mumble something, but her words were muffled. She heard Mara’s name, though, and that was enough to make her sit back down beside her best friend. _

_ “It’d be easier to hear you if you weren’t eating your pants.” _

_ That got a small chuckle out of Adora, and she turned her head to press her cheek against her knee. She hesitated for a moment, but then let out a shaky sigh. “They won’t let Mara adopt me.” _

_ “...What?” Catra genuinely couldn’t believe her ears. Mara had practically been raising Adora since they were seven and she was sixteen, when she became her ‘big sister’ at the local youth center. The second she turned eighteen she had applied for adoption, and the home had been running her in circles for the last three years.  _

_ “They said she’s too sick, and that they don’t want…” Adora swallowed, and Catra watched her eyes grow glossy. “They don’t want to have to rehome me again later, or something… like…” She stopped, and Catra knew exactly what she was thinking. _

_ ‘Rehome’. Like she was an animal. _

_ Catra frowned, and scooted closer to Adora, leaning her head against her shoulder. “... Has she been getting worse?” _

_ Adora only nodded. _

_ They sat in silence for a while, Adora slowly relaxing as Catra dragged a light nail up and down her arm. “Do…” Adora started, frowning and wrapping her arms tighter around her knees. “Can we go do something?” _

_ “Yeah!” Catra said, a little too enthusiastically as she jumped back to her feet. She wasn’t good with words, but she was pretty okay at being a distraction. “Wanna get ice cream?” She held a hand out for Adora, smiling when she felt a shaky palm slide into hers.  _

_ Adora smiled as she leveraged herself off of the dirt. “Yeah, sounds fun.” _

_ A mischievous smirk curled on Catra’s lips. “Last one to the end of the drive has to pay.” _

_ With a giggle and an ignored protest, Catra started to run, laughing harder as she heard Adora’s smiling shouts of “you’re a cheater!” echoing down the path. _

As she snapped out of the memory, Catra felt an urge to do something childish and stupid. She didn’t hesitate as she threw open the porch door, and started sprinting towards Adora, who was busy weeding the tomato patch. With a swiftness she forgot she had, she clambered up the nearest tree, perched herself on the edge, and started throwing small bits of bark at her farmhand. 

Adora flinched and swatted at the air around her before turning her gaze up to the tree.

“Hey, Adora,” Catra purred, flicking her thumb and pointer finger claws together. “What’cha doin’?”

She looked around, momentarily confused, before drawing her eyebrows down on her forehead. “... Working?” Adora looked like she was trying to hold back a smile as she crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one foot. “What are  _ you _ doing?”

“You know,” Catra hummed, moving smoothly from a squat to lay her body across the firm branch of the tree, using her bent arm to prop her head up as her tail swished in the air below her. “I  _ was _ just minding my own business, but then my farmhand started acting all weird and tense out of nowhere.” She etched a couple lines into the bark with her claw, sighing. “And  _ then _ while I was making lunch, I remembered that the  _ best _ way to get her to snap out of it…” 

She felt Adora’s gaze lock onto her before a low and warning “Catra…” filled the space between them.

“Was a little friendly competition.”

And before Adora even had a moment to register what was happening, Catra had sprung back to her feet before leaping off of the tree branch to tackle her friend to the ground, trapping Adora’s body beneath her own. Hands encircled wrists, feet hooked around thighs, and suddenly they were in a position that had Catra flushed from both exhilaration and embarrassment as Adora’s hips bucked beneath her.

“Get off!”

“Ask  _ nicer _ ,” Catra laughed, and then felt her entire body tense as Adora stilled beneath her, chest heaving. “Or tell me what’s wrong.” 

“Catra, seriously.” Adora’s voice was even, but clearly irritated. “We’re not little kids anymore and you can’t just…” Her fists flexed and Catra knew she had more than enough strength to just push her off if she wanted, but Adora was holding back. “Nothing’s wrong. I just have to work. That’s why you’re paying me, right?”

There was something in her voice that Catra couldn’t quite place. Something… wrong. Something that hinted to what exactly was going through her ex’s head.

She let go of her wrists and sat up, still straddling Adora’s hips. “You and I both know you get everything done in half the time you’re allotted for it.” 

Adora lifted up to rest on her forearms, shrugging nonchalantly. 

“You can take a minute, if you need one. You know…” Catra swallowed and, against her better judgement, placed a firm hand against the side of Adora’s neck, relief washing over her as Adora leaned into the familiar comfort. “This shit doesn’t matter.”

Adora’s head lolled back between her shoulders as she laughed, her whole body shaking underneath Catra. “Wow,” she sighed, a few lingering chuckles escaping her lips. “Therapy really has been doing wonders for you, hasn’t it?”

“Oh, shut up.” Catra shoved a hand against Adora’s cheek, smirking before standing up and offering an outstretched hand. “Do you want some lunch or not?”

Adora took her hand and stood, fingers gentle against the racing pulse in Catra’s wrist. “Last one inside does the dishes?” Adora offered, before leaping into action and sprinting towards the house.

“Hey!” Catra let out a loud groan before taking off on all fours, catching up with ease. “I cooked!”

\--

Adora had actually  _ asked _ to use the shower, after weeks of just running up Catra’s water bill, and Catra had been taken aback enough to press a palm to her forehead and ask if she had been running a fever. Adora had laughed her off and apologized for just barging in and taking over, and very meekly excused herself to the bathroom after Catra had promised her that, yes, of  _ course _ it was fine.

But she wasn’t sure that Adora was fine. 

So she sat awkwardly in the kitchen, reading some trashy novel that Weaver had stashed in her office, and waited quite impatiently for Adora to descend back down. Adora was a quick showerer, but the eight minutes she took today felt like a lifetime to Catra as she continued to read the same line of the book over and over again. Damn. 

The water cut out, and a few minutes later heavy, offbeat footsteps came down the stairs, and Catra did her absolute best to seem nonchalant, flipping the page slowly as she let her eyes drag up to Adora, who was scrubbing her hair dry with a large towel. “So…” Adora said, her cheeks tinged pink either from the heat of the shower or mild embarrassment. “Thanks… for earlier.” 

Catra frowned, folding down the page she was on as if it mattered, and sat up a little straighter. “Sure…”

With a soft throat clear, Adora stepped into the other room to throw the used towel into the laundry room and pushed her still damp hair back off of her neck. “I guess I can still get… Y’know. In my head.” Adora shrugged her shoulders before coming closer and dropping herself into the chair across from Catra. “Thanks… for noticing.”

Her eyes had gone soft, and she smiled with just one side of her mouth as her eyebrows dropped down into this gentle curve and it was  _ so much _ like the way she used to tell Catra that she loved her, that Catra felt like she was being choked, and that she had to  _ run _ . 

But… She didn’t  _ want _ to.

Catra smiled. “Not something you just forget about a person, I guess,” she said, and she meant it in the best way she could.

Adora took a deep breath in before sighing and leaned backwards in the chair. “Guess not.”

They sat in silence for a moment as Adora seemed to grow uncomfortable in her seat, clearly not taking this lull in conversation well. Catra watched her, carefully, eyes tracking the twitch of her fingers and the tensing of her shoulders as she seemed to debate with herself what to do next. “I…” she started, tensing and then dropping her head to look at the ground. “I left the league on… not so good terms… That’s why I was curious if… they said anything about it here.”

“... Oh?”

Catra watched with intrigue as Adora caught her bottom lip between her teeth, pulling at already flaking skin. “Yeah it just… it didn’t work out. And I didn’t know how to… handle it. So I just… left?” She shifted again, her shoulders coming closer to her ears as she let out a heavy breath. “The season’s over so it’s not like it  _ really _ matters I guess but… I… I…”

She hadn’t realized it, but the next thing Catra knew she was kneeling by Adora’s side, her nails digging into the skin of Adora’s forearm. “You don’t have to say, if you don’t want to.”

Adora’s face washed over with relief and then her arms were encircling Catra, pulling her up into a warm hug as Adora pressed her chin into the crook of Catra’s neck. “Thanks. Seriously.” When Adora paused, Catra raked her fingers through still damp hair, nodding once. “I’m… really happy you gave me a chance, Catra.”

“... You’re such an idiot.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was the point of writing ahead if i still can’t manage to keep a consistent update schedule lmaoooo. 
> 
> There’s a touch of softness returning here, and isn’t it lovely? 
> 
> Thank you all for your kind comments as always ;w; they really make my day!!! 


	6. Chapter 6

Catra was definitely juicing this lemon with far more force than was necessary, but she couldn’t  _ help _ it. Adora was out there looking cuter than she had  _ any _ right to be, and Catra was stuck in here doing paperwork. And… juicing lemons.

A few days ago Adora had made a stupid joke about how she sometimes thought maybe she should be dressing more the part of a farmer, and Catra had told her that she didn’t have the guts, and then she grinned and said  _ watch me _ \- and now she was here in a red and black flannel with thick black embroidery, and dark high waisted pants that seemed to be modeled after chaps, fringed at the top of her thighs. Not to mention the oversized and tacky silver belt buckle at her waist, and those  _ god awful _ big brown leather boots.

“You look more like a cowboy than a farmer…”

Adora had grinned and shrugged, shoving her hands deep into her pockets. “It’s all that was in Mara’s closet, and we know she pretty much  _ was _ a cowgirl.” Then her smile turned overly excited as she jumped back towards her truck, telling Catra just to hang on for  _ one minute _ , and disappeared into the cab of it.

And, god damn it, Catra almost fell to the ground laughing as Adora reappeared from behind her truck with the  _ worst _ looking stetson she had ever seen. “Take it off, please, oh my god,” Catra wheezed between laughter, practically screaming as Adora darted at her, mischief on her face. 

“You’re right,” she had said, hooking an arm around Catra’s shoulders to keep her in place. “It would look so much better on you.” Adora caught the tip of the hat between two fingers and maneuvered it over Catra’s curls. “Pretty girls in big dumb hats, what a combo!”

“Get off!” Catra laughed, shoving at Adora’s chest, a squeak of surprise escaping her as they lost their balance and went toppling down to the dirt drive. Adora had landed on top of her, as they both tried to catch their breath from the hysterics that had busted out. “You’re,” she sighed, bracing a palm against Adora’s shoulder, swallowing thickly as she caught sight of Adora’s exposed collarbone. “The worst.”

“Actually,” Adora smirked, reaching out to grab the hat again before pushing it back over her ponytail, and tipping it downward. “I’m the  _ best _ .”

“Whatever you want to think, hotshot,” Catra grunted as she shoved with more force against Adora’s shoulder, encouraging her to move. “Now get off me!” There was no edge to her words as she bit back a smile. “Will you get to work?”

Adora had given her a nod as she stood up, brushing off her pants and helping Catra back to her feet. “You got it, boss.” 

And then she went to it, pretty loudly complaining about how she had made a mistake and couldn’t do her work as efficiently as normal, and Catra had only laughed at her and told her to  _ suck it up, buttercup _ , because there was no way she was getting out of doing her work just because she had to be stubborn. She had abandoned the hat, at least. 

Catra yelped as a stray squirt of lemon hit her eye and threw the offending object down to the ground with a hiss. She reached blindly for a towel, pressing it against her irritated eye, and glared at the lemon now sad and limp on the floor.

Why the hell was she making hand-squeezed lemonade anyway?! There was literally no reason for this, because she didn’t even really  _ like _ lemonade!

But…

Adora did.

A frustrated groan rumbled up from her chest as her eye calmed down, and she dropped the towel back onto the counter before looking over what she had managed to get done. There was just the right amount of juice for a couple servings, and that was going to have to be good enough. Catra moved to finish the mixture, making sure to keep it just as tart as Adora liked it, and poured it over two big glasses of ice before heading out towards where Adora was moving some hay bales around.

“Hey,” Catra started, feeling her throat tighten as Adora looked up at her, a question raised on her features. “I…” Her eyes dropped to where Adora had unbuttoned the top of her shirt, low enough that the top of her bra was peeking out. “Here’s some lemonade.” Her throat was so dry. 

Jesus christ, It wasn’t even a sexy bra! Catra seriously needed to get a  _ grip _ .

A smile pulled at Adora’s lips as she dropped the last bale and stood up straight, glancing once at the cups in Catra’s hand. “... Thank you, Catra,” she said, reaching forward to take one of the drinks. “I… definitely needed this.”

“Y-yeah, sure.” God damn it. Catra could hear the stammer in her voice as their fingers brushed together and Adora lifted the dripping glass to her lips. She went at the lemonade as if she had never had a drink before in her  _ life _ , and Catra knew she was staring -  _ God _ was she staring - as the cool liquid trickled down from the rim of the cup, over Adora’s chin, down her throat and sharp clavicle and settled right between her cleavage.

She had to be doing this on  _ purpose _ .

Catra’s tongue darted out to wet her bottom lip as she definitely  _ wasn’t _ thinking about how nice it might taste to drag her mouth over the expanse of Adora’s sun flushed skin, now sticky with sweet sugar and lemon. She  _ absolutely _ wasn’t remembering their last summer together, when they took popsicles up into the loft of the barn and Adora’s clueless licking of her fingers as the ice pop melted down her skin turned Catra into such a wreck that they wound up letting the popsicles soak into the wood as their mouths became otherwise occupied.

“ … spilling!”

Catra snapped her head up to meet Adora’s questioning gaze, and immediately felt her whole face flush at the smirk pulling on Adora’s chapped lips. “What?”

“You’re…” Adora pointed down with one finger unwrapped from the glass. “... spilling your entire drink.” Catra yelped and threw the cup over the fence with much more aggression than was necessary. She was practically seething until Adora chuckled and offered a weak “... didn’t you feel that?”

“I…” she swallowed and felt her face grow impossibly redder as she forced her eyes to meet Adora’s, not backing down. “I was distracted.” 

Adora snorted and Catra couldn’t help but notice how her knuckles were growing slightly white as her grip on the glass tightened. Interesting. Adora’s eyes dragged down Catra’s flushed chest and she raised a cocky eyebrow. “By what?” She  _ had _ done it on purpose.

“Ugh, shut up,” Catra mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. She tapped her foot once on the slushy ground beneath her toes and grimaced. “I’m gonna … go shower and change.”

Adora’s lips were pressed together as if she were holding back a laugh. “Okay…” She put her glass on a flat edge of the fence before placing two firm hands on the wood. “I’ll go retrieve that cup you decided was worth punishing,” she said, before hoisting her body up and over the fence. 

Fucking Adora, always having to show off. And fucking  _ Catra _ , so easily distracted by how good her ass looked in those dorky pants. 

Catra growled under her breath as she turned back to the house, stomping her wet feet against the ground.

She supposed it was going to have to be a  _ cold _ shower.

\--

So maybe Catra took a little extra time in the shower. Maybe she couldn’t stop thinking about Adora’s strong body pressing her into all of the secret corners that they had discovered in high school. Maybe she couldn’t stop picturing those thick, calloused fingers helping her out of her clothes, or warm palms stroking over her skin. Maybe the thought of a smart mouth making its way down her entire body was enough to topple her over the edge.

_ Maybe _ it was time to admit that she still had  _ something _ for Adora.

But admitting it didn’t mean she had to do anything about it. Doing something about it wasn’t  _ safe _ .

Catra made sure to take all the time she needed to hopefully ensure that Adora had finished her work and given up on waiting around to say goodbye. She sat in the bathroom in her towel for about thirty minutes, letting herself dry as naturally as possible before moving to the counter to start on her neglected hair routine. A handful of products and drying time later, Catra finally emerged from the still steamy bathroom before peeking out of the hall window to check if Adora’s truck was still parked outside. 

It was.

With a sigh, she started moving around the upstairs again, doing mindless tasks that might take up some time. Maybe if Adora heard her moving around but not coming  _ down _ the stairs, she’d take a hint and leave. 

She managed to kill another hour by starting laundry and folding some old sheets and tidying up her bedroom.

Adora still hadn’t left.

God damn it.

With a sigh, Catra resigned herself to the fact that Adora probably wouldn’t be going anywhere until they spoke. It frustrated her to no end that Adora was  _ still _ like this - always needing to make sure everything was all right before she could relax and move on with her life. 

Catra stomped down the stairs in an attempt to make as much noise as possible before swinging around the knob at the end of the banister. Their eyes met, and Catra did her best to stay deadpan. “You’re still here?”

Adora’s eyes fell to the ground as she shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest and drawing Catra’s attention to her large forearms, now exposed by rolled up sleeves. “You seemed…” Blue eyes looked up again and her mouth quirked to one side like it always did when she thought something was wrong. “I don’t know. Not upset but…”

Rolling her eyes, Catra took some steps forward to close the distance between them. “I’m fine. You can go now.”

“Wait but --” Adora took a step forward, hand out as if she were reaching for Catra’s shoulder.

“Adora.” She paused, and Catra felt her lips curling up to bare her teeth. “You don’t have to do this still, you know.” Catra almost relished in the confusion on Adora’s features, feeling the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. “I’m not your responsibility anymore. I haven’t been for a long time.”

“Catra… I know I don’t  _ have _ to do anything...” Adora’s voice was low and gentle, just like it was when she had tried to talk Catra down from anger when they were younger - when she was more regularly out of control. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” She was approaching slowly, as if Catra were a wild animal.

It just pissed her off more.

“Get out of my house.”

Adora stood firm, towering further over Catra as she sunk back on her heels, as if she were ready to attack. 

“Catra, I’m not doing that.”

She really hadn’t expected to get this angry. She hadn’t gotten angry like this in years, and in all honesty, she didn’t even know  _ why _ she was this angry, but everything inside of her needed Adora as  _ far _ away from her as possible. A groan tore from her throat and Catra tangled her fingers into her own hair. “Why are you like this? I’m asking you to  _ leave _ .” She was pacing now, and she could feel her tail flicking dangerously behind her. “Why can’t you ever just do what  _ I _ want you to do?”

“I…”

“You weren’t there when I  _ wanted _ you to be! Why won’t you just leave now, like you did before?”

_ Oh _ .

Adora looked stunned, her eyebrows high on her forehead as she stared back with disbelief. Catra didn’t know if it was thirty seconds or thirty minutes before Adora responded, but she  _ did _ know that it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “That’s not  _ fair _ . You broke up with  _ me _ .”

Taking a deep breath, Catra straightened up and did her best to regain some composure, pushing her bangs back off of her face. “You left first.”

A scoff tore from Adora’s throat and she threw her hands up over her head. “What? Did you just want me to rot here forever?” Her voice broke, and it was  _ so _ satisfying to get Adora angry.

Catra dragged her eyes down Adora’s body, and let out a bitter laugh. “Well you’re  _ back _ now so clearly it’s not  _ rotting _ .” She felt out of control. She felt like she was eighteen again. This wasn’t good. This was so, so  _ bad _ . 

She watched as Adora’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, the way she shrunk back. “I… I needed to go, Catra. I needed to see what else there  _ was _ .”

“And then you just come crawling back?” Catra crossed her arms over her chest, smug and demeaning. “Why are you even here, Adora?”

“I…”

Catra let out another scoff of a laugh. “Honestly, I don’t really care. Just leave.”

The look on Adora’s face as she grabbed her keys and stormed towards the door made Catra falter and she took off after her, a hand reaching desperately for Adora’s wrist. “Wait, Adora, I -”

“I thought you were different, Catra,” Adora snapped, spinning on her heel and poking a hard finger into Catra’s chest. “I thought you had grown up. I thought we might…” The words got caught in her throat as she bit them back, shaking her head. “But you’re still just as quick to shut me down as you always have been, aren’t you?”

_ No no no no no please, don’t leave again. _

Adora took a deep breath in through her nose at Catra’s silence and fisted her hands at her sides. “Are you willing to talk about this, or not?”

“I am,” Catra said, too quickly, and she didn’t know  _ why _ but her fingers were curling around Adora’s wrist. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it.”

Adora’s eyes looked down to where their skin met, and let out a heavy sigh. “... Okay.” And then her fist was opening and she was holding Catra’s hand, giving her a firm squeeze. “Then we’ll talk about it.”

“Okay.”

Releasing her grip, Adora took a step back and sucked in a clearly insecure breath. “I know I don’t work tomorrow but I could… come by… If that works.”

Catra nodded, stepping back and gripping at her upper arm with shaking fingers. “Yeah,” she started, before adding on a hasty “please.”

“Okay,” Adora smiled, taking a step back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

And then she left, and Catra stepped back into her house, shut the door, and slid down the wall until her knees were under her chin.

Maybe Adora caring so much if she was okay… wasn’t the  _ worst _ thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catra :( sometimes she still lets her anger get the better of her. 
> 
> At least she fixed it quickly though. No sense in getting that mad just because you have FEELINGS, right?
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this! I try to stay ahead but I’ve been in a bit of a block lately, and drawing a lot more than writing these past couple of weeks.
> 
> Hope you all had a great holiday!! 
> 
> As always, i love and appreciate all the comments!! You make my heart soar ;w;


	7. Chapter 7

_[ hey adora … are we okay? ]_

_[ yeah, we’ll be okay. talk tomorrow, right? i can come by at like 10 ]_

_[ please ]_

_[ cant wait :) ]_

Catra couldn’t stop staring at her phone. Adora’s reassurance had been enough to let her sleep last night, but now it was nine and she had finished all of her morning work and she was just _waiting_. She had almost been hoping that they could just avoid this talk altogether - what was the point in bringing up the past when they had both moved on?

Except… they hadn’t, had they? Not really. Not when her subconscious mind got her angry and yelling about Adora leaving. Not when Adora clearly hadn’t been telling her the whole truth about why she was back, even if Catra had said she didn’t need to.

Catra really had thought this would be okay - to ignore their past and just move forward with whatever this was - but maybe in the end this would be for the better. Her therapist had been trying to convince her that it was all right to be vulnerable and to let people know how she was feeling in regards to their actions. Maybe it was time she listened.

Especially since a major part of the reason they had crashed and burned so spectacularly was _because_ they failed to talk about the big things. So much could have been avoided if she had just let Adora _know_ that she had been feeling neglected. Maybe if Adora had come to _her_ with her stress, too… Catra had even managed to hide that she was —

Her phone chimed, and Catra sighed with relief. 

_[ my thing wrapped up early. can i come over now? ]_

_[ definitely ]_

_[ :) ]_

That meant at least thirty less minutes of awkward and anxious waiting around. So Catra did her dishes, swept up some of the dirt that made it into her kitchen, and then perked up with an involuntary chirp when she heard the telltale sound of Adora’s truck crunching up the drive. It took her about half a second to abandon the broom in the middle of the floor and dart outside just in time to see Adora park as she dug her claws into the railing of her porch.

The engine shut off and Adora stepped out, immediately catching sight of Catra and smiling, and Catra resisted every pull in her stupid body that was telling her to just leap over this rail into Adora’s arms and let her hold her until it was all okay again. 

“Hey, Adora,” she settled for instead, pushing up just enough to lean forward so she was hovering over where the tall blonde had stopped beneath her. Catra looked over her non-work clothes, smiling at her dorky t-shirt under her light jacket - it had a picture of _Adora_ diving for a soccer ball poorly screen printed on it and simply said _She’s a Keeper!_ in cursive underneath. Catra could only assume it was some jokey shirt that Adora’s college friends had made, and Adora always had been the sentimental type. “Wanna come inside?”

Adora shrugged and jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. “I was actually thinking maybe we could go for a walk? Might be easier than just staring at one another.” Catra cocked an eyebrow but made quick work of moving to hop down the short stairs. “We can go to the creek, maybe?”

Nodding, Catra took a few steps before turning back to face Adora, whose brows were knitted together with worry. With a half smile, Catra pressed her pointer finger to the crease on Adora’s forehead, dragging her attention back to Catra. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I guess,” she started, finally bringing her gaze up to meet Catra’s. “I never thought we’d actually get to talk about this?” 

Catra understood that. She had gone to pretty meticulous lengths to make sure Adora couldn’t contact her for a while there. 

“I just…” The fear in her voice was overwhelming. Catra couldn’t stand for her to continue. Not here. Not yet.

“Let’s walk, yeah?” 

Adora gave her a short nod before they started the trek, side by side. 

They stayed quiet for a few minutes, just walking, bumping their hands together on occasion, as they continued down the very familiar path towards one of their more secretive spots. Catra had come here once after they had split up, and… It had been almost too much. But it was at least a twenty minute walk, so Catra knew that they were going to have to say _something_ before they got there. 

“Hey I…”

Adora looked up at her, a small but encouraging smile on her lips. 

“I’m sorry, about last night. I… I shouldn’t have snapped like that.” Catra kept walking, grateful that Adora was keeping up with her slightly faster than usual pace.

“I mean… I…get it…” Adora paused and made a low humming noise in the back of her throat before sighing and shrugging. “Well I guess I don’t really _get_ it.”

Catra bit at her lip, and crossed her arms over her chest, trying her best to find the right words. “It’s just like…” God, Adora’s overt caring in her stare was unbearable at times like this. “I guess sometimes you’re just such a damn good person that it makes me mad.”

She could see the confusion washing over Adora’s face. “Was that why you used to get mad at me out of nowhere?” she asked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her light coat, clearly from her semi-pro soccer team.

A scoff of irritation. “It wasn’t from _nowhere_.” How could she explain this better?

“Felt like it.”

Catra groaned, running a hand down her face. “Okay, I get that. It must have felt that way to _you_ … but I guess sometimes _I_ just felt… second best. And like you felt sorry for me.” Adora stumbled over a rock, and Catra reached out to help steady her, fingers burying into the puffy sleeves of Adora’s jacket. “So… when you stuck around just because you _thought_ I was upset, I guess it… reminded me of that? How I always felt like you just pitied me.”

Adora’s face fell, clear concern lacing into her features. “I never pitied you.”

“I know that _now_.”

“Do you?” 

Adora just kept _staring_ , and Catra felt like she might lose it at any minute. So she took a step back, sucking in a deep breath of air through her nose, and let go of Adora’s arms.

“ _Yes_.”

Gesturing for Catra to continue down the path, Adora rolled her shoulders before speaking. “So, what, should I just act like I don’t care if you seem upset then?” There was no edge to her words. There was _rarely_ an edge to Adora’s words.

“No,” Catra sighed, taking a few steps backwards so she could face Adora. “That’s not at all what I’m saying.”

Adora looked distressed, and her soft voice only enhanced her clear confusion. “Then what do you want me to do?”

“Nothing.” Catra paused, and placed her hands on Adora’s shoulders. “Be yourself. It’s… _me_. I’m the one who has to work on controlling my emotions about that.” She squeezed once and dropped her gaze to the ground. “I guess you coming back has stirred up some things I thought had worked through.”

She looked up to see Adora’s throat bob as she frowned and averted her own eyes. 

“Don’t get me wrong, Adora. I’m so happy you’re back. I really…” Feeling heat blossoming under her skin, Catra lowered her voice, almost ashamed, as she mumbled a soft “I missed you.”

But Adora perked up, and raised her hands to rest gently on Catra’s elbows. “I missed you, too,” she said, her cheeks pink as a small smile stretched across her lips. 

Catra took a deep breath before pulling away, and continuing down the path in front of them. She felt lighter already, and couldn’t help but bask in the relief as Adora held out a hand to help her clamber over some loose rocks. Had that been enough for Adora? Would she just move on without addressing the rest?

Their hands lingered together as they walked, gently cupping one another’s fingers. It felt… nice, and Catra resisted the conflicting urges to both pull away and lace their fingers together. This was comfortable, as they kept moving, until Adora squeezed once, and then pulled away, prompting Catra to turn and look up at her.

“I really didn’t want to leave you, Catra. You know that, right?” Her voice was firm but quiet, as if she knew this conversation would be more difficult.

Catra kept her response just above a whisper, scared of admitting the truth. “I… don’t know.”

“Mara was gone, and this town felt suffocating, and I just… wanted to see more, you know?” Taking a deep breath, Adora let their eyes meet again, a sad smile on her lips. “See what I could make of myself.”

“Yeah.”

Adora shoved her hands back into her pockets and continued moving, avoiding meeting Catra’s eyes. “I… wanted to ask you to come with me. But I didn’t want to put that kind of decision on you, either… and I just didn’t know if you’d be happy. I would still have been in class or at practice all the time, and…” She rolled her head back, staring up at the leaves overhead. “Imagine if you _had_ come and we still wound up the same way… I’d feel even worse for making you move.”

“I would have… Gone, I mean.” Catra swallowed once, and dropped her eyes to the dirt, watching her step. “I just wanted to be with you.”

A heavy silence fell over them for what felt like an _hour_ before Adora spoke up again. 

“Don’t you see how scary that is? Like… didn’t you have your own dreams and goals?”

Catra tensed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Not really. Weaver beat those out of me young. I thought… maybe…” She felt a sharp pang in her chest, as if admitting this would hurt more than she had realized. “As long as I had you, it would be okay.”

“But you’re okay now, right?” Adora asked, finally looking at Catra again. “And you did it all on your own.”

She could have laughed - but she settled for a shrug and a half smile. “I wasn’t for a long time. But … some good people helped me out when I needed it most.”

There was no missing how Adora tensed. Her shoulders rose up to her ears, her jaw clenched and flexed (and Catra scolded herself for thinking about how _hot_ Adora’s jawline was at a moment like this), and her hands in her pockets drew in closer, closing up the jacket over her chest. It was all signature Adora Blaming Herself body language, and Catra let out a heaving sigh. 

“Look, Adora… It took me a long time to understand that I messed up just as much - if not more - than you did. But we were kids, right? We were both stupid. I wanted to be the most important thing in your life, and I… wasn’t, for a bit. And that should have been okay. It was okay that other things were more important.”

Adora stopped walking, pain evident on her features as her brows drew closer and that crease in her forehead returned.

“You were _always_ the most important thing in my life. But I was spending so much time and money to be there and I couldn’t let it slip - but they were only a bigger priority at the time, never more _important_ \- and it would have been the wrong thing to throw it away…” 

Catra couldn’t look at her, so she settled on watching the erratic movement of her hands, still jammed into her pockets, as she used the motion for emphasis on her words.

“And then you broke up with me and blocked me and I couldn’t even talk to you and the one time I tried to come by like a week later Weaver said —“

Wait, what? 

“You came here?”

Adora ignored her interjection. 

“— that you moved. You left. And she said she had no idea where you went. So what could I do? I just… why didn’t you talk to me?”

Adora’s chest was heaving as Catra stared at her, caught up in the worry between her eyes. For once, she was at a loss for words. Weaver had known _exactly_ where she was, and hadn’t known about the break up so why… why _wouldn’t_ she have told Adora where Catra had been?

“I just wanted you to talk to me. We could have worked it out. I —“ Her voice broke as her shoulders fell.

Catra felt a lump forming in her throat as she stepped back and closed in on herself. She could hear the creek, just a few more feet away, and she felt it best to keep moving as she spoke. “I was so _hurt_ , Adora. I felt so little, and so much like I would never matter to you again and I just wanted to cut ties and be done with it.”

“ _Why_?” Adora was practically jogging to keep up with Catra’s quick steps.

“Because.” 

She felt wound too tightly, bound to snap at the tiniest of tugs.

“Because _why_!”

Spinning on her heel, Catra threw her hands out to her sides, leaning her entire body forward in accusation. Her voice was louder than she had expected it to be as she burst. 

“Because you chose your new life over _me_ , Adora!”

“I didn’t —“

A small, barked laugh tore from her throat as she leaned back just slightly, less aggressive than before. “You _did_ . And that’s _okay_. I know I didn’t handle it right. But can you please just admit that that’s what happened? Stop pretending like you weren’t happier.”

Adora sounded like a kicked puppy as she whimpered out “I would have been happier if you were _there_.”

“But I wasn’t,” Catra said, shrugging, and turning to head to the bank of the water. “And you _still_ were happier.”

Sitting heavily on a large stone, Catra brushed the dirt away from the surface beside her. It took a few moments, but eventually she heard the crunch of Adora’s shoes coming closer. It felt good to get it off of her chest after all these years, but the silence was deafening as Adora sat beside her, pressing her shoulder into Catra’s back.

“I’m sorry, Catra. For making you feel like—” Adora paused, and fixed her words. “For doing that to you.”

Catra sighed and leaned her head back, bumping it gently against Adora’s. “I know.”

“I think maybe I got caught up in what a different world it was. There was always stuff to do and I was so afraid to let my grades slip or lose my scholarship _and_ not take advantage of everything Brightmoon had to offer that I… put our relationship on the back burner.” Adora scooted closer, her hand bracing beside Catra’s hip as Adora readjusted. “You’re right, and I’m sorry.”

A gentle purr vibrated from Catra’s chest when Adora hooked her chin over her shoulder, their cheeks pressed together. It was familiar, and calming, and so very _welcome_.

“... Thank you.”

Adora nodded, and Catra felt a small bubble of guilt in her stomach.

“And… I’m sorry, too. For not… giving you a chance to talk about it. That… wasn’t fair.”

And then Adora let out a soft laugh of a breath, and nodded again, but kept her chin planted right where it was. It wasn’t until Adora’s hand crept forward to settle on top of her own - so much warmth and comfort in one action - that Catra felt her entire body relax.

“Well, we got to talk now. Better late than never, right?”

Catra pushed back against the guilt, the shame, and the grief over all the years lost where she could have had _this_ , and felt a genuine smile tug at her lips.

“Yeah. Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anything else, please [check out this beautiful art that the ever lovely @dandyvela did for this chapter](https://twitter.com/DandyVela/status/1335603971952664583) ;w; i'm obsessed!!!!!!!
> 
> heeeheee, whoops! sorry for the big break ♡ I got kind of down after getting a few pretty critical (and one downright negative) reviews on here and wanted to take a step back for a bit. Unfortunately it means that I've turned off anonymous reviews but I'm still so grateful for all the super kind anons i've gotten!! 
> 
> But I hope this chapter makes up for it! :3 this was the last one I had pre-written, so... here's hoping I don't fall _totally_ behind again! I've also been working on Stream-Ra quite a bit so if you're into gamers, please feel free to check that one out as I've got a few things finished for it and will hopefully start posting more soon!!
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading as always ♡ your comments and support are my life blood :3 (even if i've fallen way behind on replying to them aaaaa)
> 
> Come hang out with me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/feistypaaants)!! (18+ only please and thank you~)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Take Me Home, Make Me Come](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131240) by [DandyVela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DandyVela/pseuds/DandyVela), [sapphwriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphwriter/pseuds/sapphwriter)




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